Hypothetically Mixed: The Black Child in the White Suburbs

A hypothetical zebra.  Too black for the white kids, and too white for the inner city Black kids.  What is the station of the Black child who grows up in predominately white populated suburban areas? How do they develop a healthy racial identity?

I grew up in Johnson County, a predominately white suburban area in Kansas.  For the first 14 years of my life, I was surrounded with friends, classmates, and teammates that looked absolutely nothing like me.  My highschool graduating class had roughly 400 students but only 5-10 were African-American.  While some may argue that this equipped me for the real world, or taught me how to co-exist and adapt to other races,  I often times felt alone and out of place.

The Black kids from the predominately Black populated inner city told me that I talked funny, that I was trying to act white, and made fun of how I dressed.  It confused me because I was simply being me.  How was I supposed to be a “real Black” person?  I wasn’t sure what that sounded like, looked like, or act liked.   Although I had my Black parents as an example of what being Black was, I wanted an example in the form of someone my own age.  Just as Taco Bell is considered inauthentic Mexican food, I too felt inauthentic, a generic version of “Black.”  Was I supposed to be wearing FUBU (which was popular at the time), wear my hair in cornrows, know all the lyrics to the latest rap songs, have a “Black accent,” and use slang?  Was the fact that I wore Abercrombie here and there, had several pop songs burned on a CD, and got my hair styled in a plain press making me less Black?

On the other hand, I felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole with my white peers.  Getting stared down during readings of Huckleberry Finn was more than uncomfortable.  The horrible off-handed “compliments” such as “You are pretty for a Black girl,” and being told that I was different from the other Blacks, because I wasn’t “ghetto” made me feel all the worse.  Then there was that strange feeling when my teachers did not understand why I was reluctant to participate in the swimming portion of our P.E. class.  I was clearly aware I was Black and I was happy with that, but why did I feel so different?

What can be done to help Black children everywhere who are in the same predicament have a healthy racial identity?  The last thing we need is confused Black children turning to hip-hop music videos and the media to try to figure out how the world thinks they should be “Black.”

1.  Parental Cheerleaders:  The answer is to have at least one parental figure who is instilling the idea in them that NO ONE, black or white, can take away your personhood or make you conform to their idea of who you are.  Just like in the movie “The Help,” someone needs to be telling Black children on a regular basis “You is kind, you is smart, you is important,” not just by word but by deed.

2.  Organizational Involvement:  In addition, it is important to get them involved in various positive Black organizations.  It is through organizations like  Jack and Jill and NAACP, that I met some of my best friends and found dates to dances.   Taking dance classes at a well acclaimed Black dance school and attending a Black church were other outlets available to me. By being involved in all the aforementioned, I became acquainted with children who were going through the same identification dilemma as me.  It was through many of these organizations that I learned about  historically Black institutions and made the decision to attend Xavier University of Louisiana.

While I am aware that not everyone has all the options I had, it is the job of parents to make sure their children are exposed to other children doing positive things that look just like them.  However it is done, the Black suburban child needs to be taught that there is no “right” way to be Black.  Just as we come in all shades of brown, we come in all different types of personalities and backgrounds.