Dating A Prison Man: Could it put women at risk of contracting HIV?

I recently watched an old Tyler Perry movie titled, “Daddy’s Little Girls”. The main characters were a mechanic named Monte and a lawyer named Julia. Monte was from the hood with no degree. He had 3 children, outside of marriage, with a selfish woman who had no regard for them and was currently living with a drug dealing boyfriend. Julia was willing to overlook all of his circumstances and be with him because he was a good father and aspired to own his own mechanic business, which he eventually accomplished. She believed he was a good man but when she found out he had been charged with rape and sent to jail, she no longer wanted to be with him and broke off the relationship. In the end, Julia realized he was, in fact, innocent and had been falsely accused. Realizing his innocence, reinstated him to the position of a good man, in her mind. As a result, she saved the day, rekindled their relationship, and they lived happily ever after.

Although the movie itself was entertaining, I found the direct and indirect messages to women to be very disturbing. The movie encouraged successful women; women who have great jobs, homes, cars, and their own money, to not overlook men who don’t have the same level of success. The message is basically suggesting that a woman should not base her opinion on what a good man is by what he has and what she physically sees. Instead, she should focus on his potential, regardless of his age and how bleak his situation looks.

This is a movie and they can write up whatever ending they want which produces sales and sells the fantasy that no matter how bad things look, things can always work out. I believe that your life is real and should not be treated as a fairytale. Dating men, who have been to prison for any amount of time, as Julia did can be detrimental to women worldwide. The information below illustrates my point:

In prisons across the world, the HIV and AIDS epidemic presents a major challenge. HIV prevalence within prisons is often far higher than in the general community and prisons are a high-risk environment for HIV transmission. However, when it comes to tackling the epidemic, prisoners are often neglected and overlooked.

Prevention programs that have been shown to reduce HIV transmission are rarely available for inmates, and many prisoners with HIV are unable to access life-saving anti-retro-viral treatment. In many parts of the world prison conditions are far from satisfactory and HIV positive inmates barely receive the most basic healthcare and food.

The number of prisoners living with HIV varies between countries. America has the highest prison population in the world, around 1.5 percent of whom are HIV positive. Although this figure has declined, HIV prevalence is still higher for incarcerated populations than for the general population. In fact it has been estimated that between 17 and 25 percent of people living with HIV in America pass through the correctional system.

Prison conditions are often ideal breeding grounds for onward transmission of HIV infection. They are frequently overcrowded. They commonly operate in an atmosphere of violence and fear. Tensions abound, including sexual tensions. Release from these tensions, and from the boredom of prison life, is often found in the consumption of drugs or in sex. -UNAIDS

Although this view from UNAIDS refers to prisons in the 1990s, it still applies to many prisons across the world today. Injecting drug use, high-risk sexual behavior, and tattooing are common within prisons, each posing a risk of HIV transmission

It is estimated that 390,000 women above the age of 15 are living with HIV or AIDS in America.

The main way in which women get infected with HIV in the USA is through heterosexual sex. This mode of transmission accounts for around 72 percent of female HIV infections.

In the USA, African American and Hispanic women account for 80 percent of AIDS cases, even though they represent less than one fourth of all women.-Avert.org

Based on this data, men that go through the prison system contribute significantly to HIV statistics. They generally contract the virus based on using/sharing drug needles, tattoos, and consensual/non-consensual sex. Due to the inability to conduct exact studies, one will never know how many men are honestly being affected and infected. Additionally, those who are infected with the disease are less likely to receive adequate if any treatment at all. They barely receive the basics in healthcare and food needs. This means by the time they are released and meet a woman, they are a ticking time bomb, which highly contributes to the 72% of women who contract the virus through heterosexual sex.

Now that we know Tyler Perry’s (societies) version of a good man; let’s go to our manual to see what the definition of a good man is.

The bible says, The steps of a GOOD man are orderd by the Lord. And he delights in his way. (Click here for scripture.)

In this instance, a good man is a righteous man; a man who lives according to the Will of God, obeys the Word, and is a believer who has a relationship with Jesus. This means he would have the ability to think about the best interest of the woman he’s dating. He would not try to compromise her sexually, let alone infect her with the HIV virus, or withhold that information from her. I believe that unless a man who comes out of prison has given his life to Christ, he is NOT a good man to be considered to date. There are unique circumstances such as wrongful imprisonment, traffic violations, etc. which is not a judgment on their character; but they are still affected by the prison life which contributes to the HIV statistics in the correctional system. The data clearly shows men in prison are more likely to be HIV positive when they are released. Their behavior led them to imprisonment and  they are the same person they were when they landed in jail. So, how would they know how to treat a woman right? They don’t!  This may be why they hide and lie about what happened to them in prison in order to have sex. An ungodly man coming out of prison will say whatever it takes to have sex and in the meantime pass the HIV virus on to whomever he is  sleeping with and/or dating.

Society, through the media and movies like “Daddy’s Little Girls”, affects the way we think and the decisions we make by selling us a fantasy in romance. Don’t believe the hype (lie) that dating prison men is okay. Not all men that come out of prison are infected but why take the chance on a man who isn’t righteous and won’t be forth coming about what his experience while he was there? Remember,  movies, videos etc. like Tyler Perry’s movies are called entertainment, not real life. Don’t mix up the two.

Tapping Into Your Inner Virgin is about more than not “smooshing”. It’s about changing the way you think about Waiting for the Right person, the Right way!