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Good Ol Mississippi: Black Couple’s Wedding Banned by a White Church

by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Your Black World

A couple in Jackson, Mississippi said they were highly disappointed to have their wedding banned by a white church.  The mayor of the city has even stepped in to speak on the serious injustice that has been served to the couple as a result of what some have called obvious racism.

Charles Wilson, the husband to be, expressed his concerns about being banned.

“I feel like it was blatant racial discrimination,” Wilson said today in a phone interview.

Wilson and his wife, Te’Andrea, had already invited people to the wedding, listing the date as July 21 at First Baptist of Crystal Springs.  But there were members of the congregation who didn’t want the couple getting married at their church.  The church’s pastor, Stan Weatherford, still conducted the ceremony, but the event had to be moved to another church.

Pastor Weatherford even admitted that there were some members of the church who were concerned about Charles and his wife being married there, since they’d never had a black couple married in their church.  Wilson has been attending the church for a month and his wife has been there for more than a year.

“Prior to this, I had been telling people how nice they were here,” Wilson said. “It makes you reevaluate things.”

The pastor of the church admitted that the racism broadsided him.

“I didn’t want to have a controversy within the church and I didn’t want a controversy to effect the wedding of Charles and Te’ Andrea. I wanted to make sure their wedding day was a special day,” said Weatherford, according to WLBT.

Crystal Springs Mayor Sally Garland spoke up on the couple’s behalf, stating that she was highly disappointed that this incident took place in her community.

“I would hate for a few people to be a reflection of our whole town because it’s not that way,” she said. “We pride ourselves on unity. We don’t want to be known for that.”

Here’s my question for Charles and Te’Andrea:  Why in the hayell are you attending that church in the first place?  Why are you giving them your money and asking to give them more money by getting married in their church?  There was just a finding that the city of New York is going to earn a quarter of a billion dollars this year from gay marriages.  This shows that whether on a large or small scale, bigotry is never profitable.  If the people at First Baptist are too ignorant to know this, then you should take your business elsewhere.

One of the most awkward things I notice from some black people, especially in the south, is an intense need to mingle with whites in order to feel that we are worthy.  We pass over black businesses and gladly give our money to people who hate our guts.  In fact, we get angry if they don’t take our money, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.  Mississippi is one of the most disrespectful states in America, boldly raising a flag possessing a symbol of the greatest holocaust in the history of America, yet there are negroes who will defend this flag to the death.

When someone asked me today at the Urban League Convention how I adjust to racism in America, I gave my friend a simple answer:  I don’t trust my self-esteem to the descendants of my historical oppressors.  In other words, I don’t wait for a white man to give me a great job with some important position that makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something.  Why?  Because when you become dependent on something that’s been given to you, your self-worth is undermined when that thing is taken away.  The black man who said “mama I made it” when he was hired as a Vice President at IBM is devastated when he’s reminded that white people still own the company.

The point in what I’m saying here is that looking to whites to validate you is almost always a losing proposition.  It doesn’t mean you can’t work with them, marry them, spend time with them and do business with them, but all relationships must be predicated upon a condition of mutual respect.  For this couple, they gave their respect and money to a church that won’t even honor their right to declare their love for one another.  That is a hateful, ugly and evil way to allegedly serve God on Sundays.  The pastor should also be ashamed of being too cowardly to speak up against this injustice, which is what Jesus tells us to do at least once a week.

With regard to this couple, I would hope that they find another church that deserves their time and money.  If these people are too ignorant to allow black people to get married at their church, that’s their loss.  You should never waste your time pandering to people who are ignorant enough to believe that you are inferior, for they are never worth your time.  Don’t let your feelings be hurt when they reject you…just tell them to get the hell out of your face.  God has better things in store for you anyway.

Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of YourBlackWorld.com and the author of the book, “Black American Money” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

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46 Responses to Good Ol Mississippi: Black Couple’s Wedding Banned by a White Church

  1. Lynn Magnuson Reply

    July 27, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    I know it was racist!
    That’s a shame in this day and age and was a shame in the past when it was widespread too. That one broadsided me too. Meanwhile, these bigots claiming to worship Jesus who was born on the African continent, and described in the Hebrew scriptures as having woolen hair and bronze skin. Does that sound like a light skinned, blond Northern European Ayran to you?? Sure doesn’t to me. This is terribly sad, and completely unacceptable. Especially for Christians.

  2. Alfred Smith Reply

    July 27, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    Jesus tells us to do that ALL the time, not just on Sundays. He ministered seven days a week to everyone. This pastor was a coward; saying he “didn’t want a controversy” meant he didn’t want to lose “church” members. He might want to read the part of the Bible where Jesus said “go and make disciples of ALL nations.” He and his flock of bigots need to meditate on that.

  3. Pierre Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 8:58 am

    Is this the year 1912 or 2012?

  4. jackie Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 9:09 am

    I know alot of Black go to all whites churches.
    When they get discrimnated, they want the world to know, they been done wrong. Black preacher isn’t get enough for them, they need to be with the white folks, help me to understand why so many black folk join white churches.

  5. nell Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 9:37 am

    I suggest the couple read “The Warmth of other Suns. They obviously do not have a clue about the history of their state. This will open their eyes to the children of slaveholders and overseers who attend that church.

    • Barbara Reply

      July 28, 2012 at 11:31 am

      “The Warmth Of Other Suns” was such a brilliant book. I read it.

      As for the couple, they should stay with their own many Black churches there in Mississippi. Give the Black churches your money if you must give at all.

  6. Rod S. Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 9:41 am

    My thoughts exactly–why would this couple insist on attending a church where they were so obviously treated as second-class citizens? Are there no other churches in the area? Is their self-esteem so low that they feel that they have to worship with and give their hard-earned money to a group of people who don’t even respect their basic right to be married? Is the desire to mingle with white folks that great, even if they don’t like or respect you? Black people, we have got to learn to love ourselves and stop having to seek and get validation from white folks.

  7. charles Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 9:42 am

    Interesting. As one person wondered, “Is this a reflection on the whole town.” YES!!! These are people who are charged to educate your children, keep your water safe, administer medication to the sick, and confirm your status as law abiding citizens. Their judgement can not be trusted if they tolerate intolerance. Who can you trust?

  8. Scott W Trent Jr Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 9:48 am

    Just another reason to show that WHITE people don’t really know the GOD they worship…… how do you think all those blue eyed, blond hair pretty pictures of Jesus came abt….? BY A LIE!

  9. erica Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 9:49 am

    The people in the Church will apologize and those Negros will continue to sit right there and pay their tithes as if nothing happened. Blacks people lack the stomach ( some of them) to stand up for themselves to the white man. I hope they have enough self respect to say goodbye and worship elsewhere. There is no place for racism in Gods house

    • Elizabeth Reply

      July 28, 2012 at 10:55 am

      Erica, you have common sense.

    • chris Reply

      July 28, 2012 at 11:12 am

      in god’s house? god doesn’t live in that house!


    July 28, 2012 at 10:17 am

    Is there not any black Churches in Ms. or wer’e you two raised in a white Church?

  11. Elizabeth Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 10:54 am

    STUPID COUPLE! Why are you attending a church which teaches HATE? There are so many TRUE christain and faith built African-American churchesin MS and in your town. Why are you at this church and now you want to cry fowl…stupid.

    • Satchel Reply

      July 28, 2012 at 12:20 pm

      Don’t be so quick to call these people Stupid. It may make you feel superior, but you only lower yourself morally. Self serving attitues and redicule from our own people is why we can be easily conditioned to think the white man’s Ice is colder then the Black man’s Ice. Maybe you can point out for all of us, a few of those “so many TRUE christain and faith built African-American churchesin MS and in your town”. Sure would appreciate.

  12. Olson Rogers Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 11:07 am

    Racism is alive and well in America. While I am aware racism thrives in other countries as well, I, am an African American. Awareness seems to elude us often and in spite of what has been written and played out daily, we forge ahead; some blindly and some with eyes wide open. Criticisms of the couple are not in order as we must all bear witness and tell our story, until the change we seek has come. If we don’t tell our story, then those who do, will tell it other than how it was and our true story will cease to exist. We must be our Brothers keeper. We are all they have!

  13. Teri Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 11:13 am

    Agree with many of the comments here however to take this to its ultimate issue we must ask what are African people doing in the christian church at all? What people reject their own spiritual systems in order to worship the gods of their oppressors? You must consider whether this rejection of our ancestors and the Nganga is not the reason we continue to suffer so pitifully at the hands of others. Divine protection is afforded to those who live in respect and honor of their Ancestors….our people who lived thousands of years seeped in the culture of Africa…who were tortured and killed clinging to that culture only to have you their suns and daughters …their progeny reject that culture in favor of the culture of their very tormentors. Disgraceful. You reap what you sow.

    And by extension what in the world are we doing asking the permission of white people to marry each other? To visit our children? You are thoroughly conquered black man and woman. This is why you get no respect.

    • elaine clemons Reply

      July 28, 2012 at 6:18 pm

      Teri, you are so on point. thank you, sister.

    • Harvey Reply

      July 29, 2012 at 7:43 am

      You are right I have said this for along time but while I was saying it I felt I was betraying religion the same religion that uses the “King James ” version. It’s Mississippi people did ya really expect to be embrace by the very same people and place that is the birth place of the granddaddy of all the hate groups the KKK the water hose spraying German Shepard dog sic in on people ass people they had groups an even neighbor hood associations in that very city to deny and oppress us of our very basic human rights did this couple think it was gone. They must be young and from out of town or a brideszilla that fell in love with venue don’t be a fool it’s after all Mississippi.

  14. Majumba Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 11:22 am

    Again I will say that the People of First Baptist of Mississippi are no more Christian than Osama Bin Ladin was a Muslim.

  15. Ronnie Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 11:25 am

    This couple knew that this was a blatant act of racism. But this couple also acted the exact same way that the majority of blacks would have acted that seek the acceptance or approval of their white counterparts. When you have elite level blacks that don’t need the approval or acceptance of the white establishment, the average level black is more times than not, going to follow their leads. Until we come from under the Willie Lynch syndrome, this is the way that a lot of blacks will behave. Reginald Lewis said it best, ‘Why should white guys have all the fun’?

  16. Prinzez Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 11:57 am

    First of all this place does not sound like God’s House at all! If they insist it is, has God ever attended their services? For, He knows all! The members who didn’t want the marriage to take place there, are so wasting their time. God hates tradition. I am assuming that is why they go to the church building in the first place. Tradition.

  17. Damajah Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    While racism might seem to be the obvious culprit, you cannot simply rule out other obvious factors, such as the age difference between the couple, their failure to participate in the prescribed pre-marital counseling, their relatively short membership in the church, and many other issues that made the church leadership arrive at their “decision.” I’m a little perplexed that this couple didn’t see any signs of racism when they were attending, and why they allowed the pastor of the church to marry them somewhere else. He obviously supported the decision to ban this couple, and if he didn’t, he had a morale obligation to use this as a teaching moment for his “flock.”

  18. hambone Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    Boyce, I can finally agree w/you. The Black people in the south want the white people to validate them. The only reason I don’t tell my boss how she is doing me wrong, is because I have a home & family to maintain. If it were just me that I had to feed, I would request
    the salary I deserve!!

  19. nobluesman Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    “One of the most awkward things I notice from some black people, especially in the south, is an intense need to mingle with whites in order to feel that we are worthy.”

    This is truly one studid a** statement. Some of you “know-it-all, educated jacka**es from “up north” are living up to Willie Lynch’s legacy to the hilt. You need to remember that your ancestors came from the south as well. We should stop dividing ourselves. With your way of thinking, we will never be one people.

    Just as the peoples of the Caribbean were just one stop ahead of us during the mass kidnappings from mother Africa, your ancestors left the south seeking better opportunies during the Black migration north in US history. We should strive to look to what what we have in common and not focus on our contrasts. Remember that most of the progress that we have made as a people started here in the south.

    • Charles Reply

      July 28, 2012 at 1:50 pm

      We are worthy, that’s for sure. Since the time of Emancipation took place, Blacks still acted like slave
      because of the Deprogramming and Brainwashing of Slavery. And still today multitudes of Black folks still
      act and feel that way whereas they are afraid to speak out. I once lost my job being there for almost 5 years until a new manager came about. Deeply in my mind I had the feeling that me and this fellow is not going to get along. It came to pass it was true because he figured just because he was White and I’m Black that I must heed to him for what he says, whereas I was 2nd on the seniority list when new whites were hired, making top dollar and I was doing the same positions at a lower hourly wage. That when I had to speak up.

  20. DOCMEB Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    When the HELL will we learn white people don’t really want you around…

  21. Charles Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    What this church has allowed is based the the person behind that pulpit. If he truly believes that this Black and White couple should not get married, then he has himself to blame because he is not teaching the true WORD of GOD. In my bible;the WORD says in 1st Timothy 5:21;”I charge you before God and the Lord Jesus Christ and the elect angels that you observe these things without prejudice, doing nothing with PARTIALITY.” If this so-called congregation who proclaims that they know God has violated this verse. If God can make INFERIORITY, that means He has some INFERIORITY in Him. Base upon what others think or believe. At some points it the other way around as for as that matter.

  22. Allison Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    Once again, Thank You Dr. Boyce you Blogged A Mouth Full. I cannot feel sorry for this couple or anyone who needs affirmation from a group that knowingly and willfully are angered when you sit next to them within the walls of the Church. They knew they were bearly being accepted when attending church each Sunday. Yet, they chose to ignore the signs. As they say in the south, those two are Uppity!!

  23. corbin56 Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    I am a Black woman. My family & I live in Montana. I make it a point not to attend ANYONE’S church. However, I became friends with a lady here in our town. As a favor to her, I accompanied her to a weekly women’s bible study group. Wow. I cannot begin to tell you some of the crap that I endured. (from so called christians) Unbelievable. However, I gave as good as I got. I have been here quite a few years. I have no intention of leaving. No one bothers me anymore. It is beautiful here. I don’t have to deal with “urban” behavior. If I were to re-marry, I would not get married in a church period, especially one in a predominately white town.

  24. May Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    I sure they were uppity to attend a white church and the first place and not know how they are now go finf yourself a nice all black church

  25. truthspks Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    Sorry people but I blame the Black couple here. That’s right I blame them and just so you know I’m Black.
    Why in God’s name would this couple want to have their wedding ceremony in a White church. There ain’t a day in hell I’d want my vows recited in the Filth of a White church. Pure Filth is what that church along with all their members. The only thing present in a White church is the Devil himself. It’s 2012 Black people when in God’s name are we going to wake up and stay away from these White Beast. Get a damn grip and go have your wedding in the park or something any place but the church of the White Beast.

  26. Independent Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    Not surprised but the couple seemed rather surprised at this action and i cannot for the life of me understand why? We BLACK people need to create neighborhoods that we are proud to live and participate in rather than running to white neighborhoods where we are not welcomed nor liked just merely tolerated, and for those of us who are not quite sure if racism is alive and well in AMERICA in this 21st Century, just observe the way the MAJORITY of WHITE people treat the PRESIDENT OF THE USA who is half white with the appearance and color of a black man. Make sure you get out and VOTE for Barack Obama for the same reason that the WHITE FOLKS would not be voting for him because he is black and make sure you have your poll tax/ proper identification.

  27. WizardG Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    It’s too bad that these two had to get their wake-up call at the time of their happiest… The sad fact is that there is more to wake them up about than the fact that “blacks” are still found disgusting and unacceptable to many hypocritical and very ignorant “whites”. They (The two), are still bound to be caught up in a religious belief system that was imposed upon us “blacks” or African Americans, through our ancestors/parents, etc., by a dominant ‘racist’ slave-owner society! They are still ignorant to the fact that much of their mental information was built-up by this type of society and while they should be rejecting it they are too mentally infected by it, and caught up in it. So instead, and without realization of facts and knowledge, are immersed in it. We are almost completely assimilated into a social-structure which hates and detests us secretly (usually quietly), and tricks us outwardly! We (the few who are able to) teach our children to enjoy it as it is, or things as they are! You shouldn’t wonder why everyone around us including other nationalities have very little respect for us. They are taught, just as we are. To hate or despise African Americans, “blacks”. While at the same time teaching us a false and superstitious religious system that speaks about love and an omnipotent being we should expect to see (or not see) after our deaths. If we are conditioned enough to believe such insanity, we can be conditioned to literally believe anything! If we can be conditioned to believe anything, we can be conditioned to do anything.

    Most of us were mentally handicapped at birth and most of us live in complete ignorance and denial. Most of us cannot be reached unless it is through the words of false religious teachers and many are (unknowingly) ‘warped-of-mind’ if they believe the platform such people in the first place. Yet many will still follow the European superstitious religious “God” phenomenon regardless. They are mentally/emotionally attuned to do so, and thereby show themselves completely open to all sorts of deceptions and lies..Is getting married in a church the African tradition? The black tradition? Yes…if you take into account that our ancestors got it from their white counterparts.

  28. Juandero Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    What does it take for black people to get it in their heads! White people don’t want nothing to do with us. And we should have nothing to do with them either. I’m from Mississippi and I’m glad that I will never return to the mistake that cause me and my family more harm than good.

  29. Ausar Nebankh Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    (1) Racism has no expiration date. (2)Maybe the Black female was looking for a white man and that is why she went to that church for she went there for a year while her husband went for a month. (3) A little envious that a man like that could bag such a beautiful young woman even with that straw color “hair”, if she was wearing her hair natural then she would be beyond beautiful in this one man opinion.

  30. Yolanda Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    Ok… I was born here in MS & attended an all black church. I converted to the Catholic Church. There is only one Catholic church in my hometown of Columbus, MS, so, that’s where I attend. For the first time, I actually envisioned the Christchild as colorless. There are prejudices and hatred in ALL churches. The devil makes sure of that; however my feelings have been hurt WORST by so- called Black Christians. It is SAD that the pastor could not stand his ground. That church is in the Southern Baptist Conference and that body just elected a black president. What would that church do if that “dignitary” wanted to preach there. Hmmmmm

  31. crox1153 Reply

    July 28, 2012 at 6:57 pm


  32. Robert Reply

    July 29, 2012 at 3:35 am

    The true church is neither white or black. The pastor and true Christians should always stand up for what is right, even If it means going against the white members of this church who are racists, even If it leads to his or her ouster from this so called church and starting at another location, with the ones who r true Christians I unfortunately dare to say that the majority of whites r the same inside their hearts as their slave holding ancestors for their negatives actions speak louder than any words, for they r the real one’s who keep slavery alive and well, which can be seen in them in all areas of society A thru Z, Hell awaits All racists, rich r poor.

  33. Dr. S. Smikle Reply

    July 29, 2012 at 7:50 am

    I take issue with the mayor’s response. A few people influenced the pastor’s actions. So, they do reflect the sentiments of not only that church but a segment of that community. The pastor is worried about his job–pure and simple. He was also naive. His expectation of homogenity at his church caught him off-guard. He lacked the capacity to see this issue as a call to action and an opportunity to advance the thinking of his membership. His flawed leadership as a moral leader is clear and I would no longer attend his church as a result.

  34. Deloris Reply

    July 29, 2012 at 11:44 am

    I find it strange that most of you are talking about Mississippi. Mississippi is all over America. There are some white churches that you can not go to in San Francisco without people looking at you funny and wondering why are you there. I find it so strange that we are still thinking that things are so different when you cross the Mason Dixon Line.
    Why is it that we do not own businesses and hire our own children in the other part of the country if things are so good. I am glad I taught my California born kids that where every you go in the world you are always seen as black. And the people do not care where you came from California or Mississippi black is black. As long as they knew that they could move freely in the world.

  35. ARNEADER Reply

    July 29, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    First of all Dr. Boyce last I checked this was a free country and a black person should be able to attend any church anywhere they want especially since we all serve ONE God. Secondly, black people in the South do NOT “have an intense need to mingle with white people in order to feel worthy”. I do remember you pitching a fit about not getting tenure or something of the sort from Syracuse i.e. blacks professors do not get the tenure they are due at white universities. Third, MS isn’t the only Southern state with a rebel flag as its state flag-and we do NOT defend it. MS is predominately WHITE! MS is a RED state! MS black citizens voted for Barack Obama MORE than any state in the nation. MS has more black elected officials than ANY state in the NATION! Get your facts straight Dr. Boyce and learn ALL of MS history.

    • Teri Reply

      July 29, 2012 at 6:06 pm

      It should be patently obvious that they do not serve the same god as African people . Their god sanctioned slavery….colonialism…jim crow and the mess in this artical . Wake up. How on earth could African people “serve” such a god. such a god would be our enemy! Our god exist indiametric opposition to their gods. It can hardly be any other way without raising fundamental contradictions. They understand this why don’t we?

      • elaine clemons Reply

        July 30, 2012 at 7:41 am

        african-looking people serve the god of their oppressors because they are cowardly, lazy-brained empty vessels. they do not hear the voices of our ancestors calling for vengeance. they are afraid of exercising any critical thinking, that’s why they bought into the saviour/heaven concept. they can’t even connect the dots. they go along to get along. how has that worked out for them? they are as, if not more miserable than the rest of us because they lock themselves in another prison besides this shit hole called america. the so-called religion makes them liars, hypocrites and back-stabbers, in other words, the mirror image of their captors. a sad and scurrilous bunch.

  36. Joplin Reply

    July 30, 2012 at 8:21 pm

    This is a vast country and there are many churches that would welcome this couple and their nuptials. Many people want to believe in this “Kumbaya Integration Philosophy” that most people want to do the right thing and that if they are just decent or nice enough, that is enough to be accepted by people who simply do not like us.

    And, guess what? They don’t have to like us and we don’t have to like them. Churches are private entities that reflect the ideology and values of its members and all churches are not for all people. While it is racist to deny this couple if they were members, the couple should count their blessings and move on to another place of worship that welcomes them and shares their values and beliefs.

    Also, what does gay marriage and the financial windfall received by New York have to do with this article? Just because something makes money does not make it right in terms of morality or religious values. If that is the case, should churches promote gambling, prostitution, drugs, etc. because they will receive a windfall from all the new “members” and the largesse they will bring with them?

    Gay marriage may bring in a lot of money, but it will bring ruin to the culture in the long run because a “Pandora’s Marriage Box” will be opened for just about every configuration clamoring to be included in this country’s “ever evolving” definition of marriage.

    Approve of gay marriage if you are so inclined, but to assert that it is a good thing just because it brings a financial boon to NY is a specious and asinine argument especially when gays and their advocates just want acceptance and legitimacy for their agenda.

    If gays face the most oppression (replacing blacks as the new face of discrimination), where are they getting all of this money to rain down on New York? Perhaps, Dr. Boyce may want to enlighten his readers on that interesting bit of info!!!

  37. Reginald Williams Reply

    August 1, 2012 at 2:36 am

    In the south,not all black folk are not like this,you have also in the north too,black folk have to take chain off their brain,and for that church,they will have to answer to lord one these days. God don’t put up with this

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