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Nomalanga: Women Like Dwayne Wade’s Ex-Wife Ruin it for Others

I just read about the sequence of events that lead to Dwayne Wade’s ex-wife, Siohvaugn Funches-Wade getting arrested. Now it is being reported she may lose her visitation rights. Funches-Wade allegedly failed to bring her children to the airport so that they could fly back to be with their father, Dwayne Wade, on Father’s day.

Last year it was widely reported that Wade fought tirelessly to win custody of his children and have them live with him. Now, I am not a legal expert, but even I know that it is extremely hard to find a judge who will award custody to a father rather than a mother and even when you do find such judges, they do so sparingly.

The fact that Funches-Wade’s children were taken away from her and custody was awarded to their Father already had one of my eye brows raised and then when I heard about the case against her being accused of child abduction, it started to become very difficult to give her the benefit of the doubt.

As a mother, myself, I am keenly aware of the importance of each of my children’s relationship with their father. To say that it is important is an understatement. Just this past weekend, on Father’s Day, I wrote a blog that stressed the importance of mothers taking a very active role in making sure that their children have relationships with their fathers.

The reason why I think that women like Siohvaugn Funches-Wade ruin it for others is that she seems to be an obstruction to Wade’s relationship with his children rather than than being the person who is supporting the efforts of him building and maintaining a relationship with his children. I know too many men who have the desire to love and have great relationships with their children but, unfortunately, they have chosen to have children with women who would cut off their nose to spite their face. These women usually have some unfinished emotional business with the father of their child and use their child (or children) as a pawn in their malicious revenge games.

Funches-Wade was charged with two counts of attempted child abduction, two counts of unlawful visitation interference and one account of resisting arrest. Sorry, lady, you may have gotten away with ignoring your children’s need to have a relationship with their father but you don’t get to ignore the law and abandon your contractual rights.

The charges leveled against Funches-Wade may seem harsh but maybe that’s what it will take to send a clear message to all women who are no longer actively in a relationship with the father of their children-obstructing a man from loving his children is a very serious and detrimental thing to do. It not only hurts the father of the child, but also the children, in ways that are far beyond what you can imagine.

Too often we hear women talking about how “trifling” the father of their children is and how he never comes around or doesn’t seem to be interested in his children. Well, sometimes we need to consider that sometimes men are not avoiding their children; they may be avoiding the mothers of those children and the “drama” that they bring into every visit.

I am well aware that there are men out there who are “trifling” but the case of Dwayne Wade and his ex-wife shows us that before we call a man a dead-beat, we need to consider that he may be dealing with a dead-beat mother.

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12 Responses to Nomalanga: Women Like Dwayne Wade’s Ex-Wife Ruin it for Others

  1. Sid Reply

    June 21, 2012 at 1:46 am

    Children’s relationship with their mother is just as important as a relationship with their father. Maybe even more important. In this case Wade will be away from home for 4-5 months out of a year playing basketball. That leaves Gabrielle Union or a nanny to care for the children.
    I think it’s about money, cheaper to take custody than to pay $30 or $40 thousand a month in child support. Wade has deep pocketsto hire the best lawyer to try the case in a Miami court, a city where he is a basketball star. She had no chance of getting full or even joint custody.
    I real man would certainly fight for joint custody, but never injure his children by taking them away from their mother.

    • Key Reply

      June 21, 2012 at 4:30 am

      No parent is more important than the other. Any parent who is a good parent knows this intimately. Both mothers and fathers contribute to the children different aspects of their personality which is supposed to help them to grow up as mature, level-minded and strong individuals.

      The moment I hear a person trying to say that being a “mother” is more important… sorry, but I have to question the logic of the individual. I had three parents that raised me and that included a step-father… I found that my dad and my father shaped and molded me as a woman just as much as my mother.

      As for the case of the Wade’s… I am not going to be on the side of a mother who has lost her children in court. For her to lose them meant there was gross misconduct on behalf of the mother to prove she was not fit and most times I have seen unfit mothers still keep their children. So in my opinion… if you lost them it was probably for a damn good reason.

    • Mo Reply

      June 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

      Know the facts before you comment on a thing. The child custody case took place in Chicago the home town of both parents not Miami. And his ex-wife had several lawyers quit during the case because they found her difficult to work with. Only the child can determine how important one parent’s relationship is versus another. So don’t just come to the conclusion that just because she’s the mother her role is more important than his. And his occupation has very little to do with any of it. He’s not gone 4-5 months a year playing basketball. They do have home games you know? It’s no different than any other parent being on a business trip.

    • Smith Reply

      June 21, 2012 at 5:38 pm

      Sid, you are very ignorant regarding the facts surrounding this case. At least, the facts that have been reported in the press, newspaper, magazines, television, blogs, etc. Dwyane Wade has tried every means to deal with his ex-wife and she doesn’t accept anything except what she wants, including ignoring court orders. I don’t know if you are a man or a woman, but you sound like one of those women, who simply thinks that a mother should be the one to raise the kids no matter if she’s not good at it and happens to be the one who is ruining the family. Please grow up!

  2. Been There Reply

    June 21, 2012 at 2:31 am

    Until you have walked in her shoes, you can’t say a thing. This woman’s whole family and life as she knew it, has been ripped away from her. Meanwhile, she has to sit back and watch her ex-husband flaunting around his movie star girlfriend and she’s playing mommy to her kids, and they are all riding into the sunset. Yeah, that’s plenty to make a woman snap. And on top of that, she’s fighting against a very wealthy and powerful man throwing his clout around to get his way.This woman is BROKEN to her core.

    I agree with Sid. I think DWade just doesn’t want to pay her money for child support because of his ill feelings towards her. My ex pulled the same crap on me. Custody was secondary. He simply didn’t want to pay ME because of our friction. It’s just too bad that DWade’s ex can’t find the strength to stop playing into his ploy, and fight him back.

  3. Nicholaus Reply

    June 21, 2012 at 6:01 am

    No Nomalanga, this does not “ruin it for others”. The “woman” in question has brought this upon HERSELF. As you accurately stated, there are “trifling” men out there, and this proves that there are trifling women as well. Men know the difference. A good, strong sista ain’t got nothing to worry about. Who she is stands on it’s own. We will see her. She will be respected and loved and appreciated for her contribution to the relationship. Unfortunately, just like women say that all the good men are taken, all the good women seem to be gone as well.
    Someone should tell Siohvaugn that there is an opening on Basketball Wives. Now that it looks like she might loose custody of her kids, she’ll have plenty of time to start shit with someone else.

  4. Erica Reply

    June 21, 2012 at 6:37 am

    Sad all around.Again parents forgetting “what is in the best interest of the children”

  5. Betty Reply

    June 21, 2012 at 11:46 am

    some people fail to realize that couples can outgrow each other..and..what was perfect in High school and college..is no longer..Siohvaugh seemingly can’t get over the fact..that.. what once was is no longer..the fact that her nemesis is
    a beautiful.accomplised actress has driven her to the point of no return..her behaviour..takes the
    phrase..”hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” to another level..it is the compelling force that is driving her..”MOVE ON” You can’t put toothpaste back in the tube..nor can u unring a bell..make a life for yourself..find god or what or whoever can help you to move on..you need professional help..at this juncture..u are good for no one..yourself included..

  6. Tira Martin Reply

    June 21, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    I didn’t interfere with my kids and their dad and we didn’t even see eye to eye and had very few words for one another. Very bad relationship, plus his bad habits was not my thing but he didn’t comprehend that so he had to be removed from my family life equations,but that didn’t mean he was not going to be in his kids life. My mother did it to me and I wasn’t able to have relationship with my Father until I was twelve. I know that feeling and refused to let my kids go through that. Up until their dad died a week before hristmas my kids spent as much time possible with their Dad. Being that he lived right across the street from our apartments, which he did to be closer to his children, was even better. No matter what I had to do he kept his kids. He got married a year before he died and to this day his wife still honors his wishes of keeping my kids if need be and we always got along anyway. NO woman should interfere in the relationship of a man an his child unless there is absolutely necessary. You have to be the bigger person because when you child(ren) start asking questions about why their dad never comes around you don’t want to tell them “because I don’t want him around my house”, “I can’t stand your daddy”,etc. In the end the child is not going to blame their dad they will blame the mom that is keeping the dad away, the mom that won’t let them spend quality time with their dad because she is bitter. If you are the one to break off the relationship the you shouldn’t have a reason to be bitter but you should instead have a reason to be better. A better mother, a better individual, breaking off fro a bad relationship should make you a stronger person. If he moves on so what be happy for him and still let him interact with his children because whoever he is in a new relationship with has to accept his kids and as long as she doesn’t violate your children in any way then you shouldn’t interfere.

  7. Meek Reply

    June 21, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    First of all all parents are important its just one parent might be more stable than the other. Sio keeps proven the judge right by acting a damn fool. She is the reason for her loss of marriage and kids, not gabrielle who came two years later. Everybody wants to sympathize with her because she lost custody. If she was a real woman and let him be in his kids life when she had them, she would still have custody. He seems to be a good father and the boys looks to be thriving with him. Sio was fine with the other supposedly women he was with when they seperated, but when he got serious with an actress then she started pointing finger at gabby, well what about the man she was with during her marriage. SHE IS NOT iINNOCENT.

  8. Royalty Reply

    June 22, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    I am not one to dip in the private affairs of others, but I wish this news was private. Love and living life is so tender. Children need balanced nourishment from the mother and father. Seriously, I pray I never marry, and my husband leaves me for another woman. I pray my first and only marriage last for a life-time.

  9. eric Reply

    June 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    For Dewayne, who plays b/b from October (the preseason) to June (NBA Finals), to receive full custody from a stay-at-home mom, something’s missing! Was a psyc-evaluation done of the mother? is there a pre-existing case with social services?

    Legally, she’s entitled to 1/2 of the assets gained during the time of the marriage (that’s 1/2 of the NBA salary, bonuses, pensions and endorsements) – so i don’t think a ’30k a month c/s payment is the issue.

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